


Bittersweet

by adrianfarenheightstepes



Category: Recovered_悪魔城ドラキュラX 追憶の夜想曲 | Castlevania: Nocturne of Recollection, 悪魔城ドラキュラ | Castlevania Series, 悪魔城ドラキュラX 月下の夜想曲 | Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-18 20:33:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11882286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adrianfarenheightstepes/pseuds/adrianfarenheightstepes
Summary: Following the events of Nocturne of Recollection, Maria learns some more about Alucard (with some gentle prying). A bond is beginning to form between them. However, Alucard succumbs to his dormant vampiric urges and tarnishes their still-developing bond beyond repair, with little hope for reconciliation.Warnings for the following: blood/blood drinking, gore, graphic depictions of violence which include muscle tearing, bone-breaking, flesh-ripping (and, by extension, implied arousal from violence), and vomit/bile.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my first time submitting something here. I'm aware that this fic has some loose ends, but I hope you enjoy it all the same.

Alucard was poised at the end of a long table, glaring down at the meal presented before him. Maria had been experimenting with many new recipes, determined to find something suitable to her companion’s particular tastes (it had been her mission of hers since she began prying to know about him on a personal level).

Apprehensive, the man picked up a fork in his right hand, and stalled for a moment. Where to even begin with this? He couldn’t quite make out what it was supposed to be, either. He didn’t really need to eat food like this, afterall, but Maria was relentless. 

As if he had called upon her, Maria suddenly appeared. She took a seat close to him–not on the other end of the table, as he was so used to with his father. The girl was different–-and, for reasons completely unknown to Alucard, she always put in so much effort and attention.

Maria then watched Alucard expectantly. “I think it turned out pretty good this time.” She comments, a bit prideful. She leans in, and Alucard recoils out of habit. He catches himself doing this and straightens his posture.

“What are the ingredients?” He asks, tone neutral.

“I’ll tell you after! Please, have some.” She insists, relentless.

Alucard pursed his lips slightly, nodding. He portioned a small section of the indistinct meal and picked it up with his fork, promptly putting the food in his mouth and chewing. He didn’t make eye contact.

There was a long silence.

“…Well?” She tried, her tone uneasy. Alucard swallowed, and went in for a second piece. Maria merely watched.

“…it’s good. Thank you.” He finally replied, voice quiet. He met her eyes and gave her a small smile, nodding.

The taste was nostalgic, and Alucard was in the process of determining what it was. It was a sort of sobering taste, and he couldn’t at all place it. It was bland, but the texture was interesting. 

“You don’t have to lie, Alucard.” Maria chimed in. She stifled a laugh and tucked a stray piece of blonde hair behind her ear. “I’ll keep at it–-”

“That’s not it.” He cut her off, putting the fork down. Maria cocked her head to the side slightly, listening.

“…What did you use?” He tries.

“Oh, well… I actually found something.” Maria pushed out her seat and left into the next room. While she was gone, Alucard prodded at the food before he took another bite. What was it? There was something so familiar about it…

The blonde returns quickly, her hands behind her back. Finishing his bite, the man turns to her.

With a little hesitation, Maria brandishes a leather-bound book. Alucard doesn’t recognize it.

“…don’t tell me, you used paper.” He joked (or attempted to), though his tone was flat. Maria has been with him long enough to catch onto his ‘humorous tone’ and gives a genuine laugh.

“Of course not. Here,” she resumed her seat and inched closer to him, flipping to a page with a folded corner.

“I lacked some of the ingredients, but…” she then handed him book. Carefully, Alucard took the book into his hands and began to read.

It was in his mother’s hand.

This must have been her cookbook.

Upon realizing this, Alucard’s body laguage changed. He began scan down the page with such intent Maria had never seen from him.

“You see…” Maria breaks the silence, leaning herself in and pointing a finger to a starred note.

“…'Adrian’s favorite’.” Alucard read aloud, his voice quiet. Maria returned her hand and waited another moment in silence.

“Adrian…” She tried the name on her tongue. Flinching suddenly, Alucard lifted his head, looking at her. She smiles in return. It makes sense.

“Your name is Adrian, isn’t it.” Her tone wasn’t quite a question, but more of a realization. Alucard, noticing his reaction, stifled a small laugh.

“Ah, yes.” His tone seemed hesitant. “It is.” He paused. “…it was.” He conceded.

“Adrian.” Maria says aloud again. Alucard is too invested in the book again, skimming through it with great delicacy. One of the only remaining objects of his mother. It was bittersweet.

Carefully Alucard then placed the book on the table. He returned to his task of eating. Meanwhile, Maria leaned back into her seat, watching him with a soft smile.

“I’m sure it isn’t the same, but I hope I’m on the right track.” She admitted. Alucard nodded, finishing up the last bit before taking a napkin and dabbing his lips with it. He then met her eyes.

“It was very thoughtful. Thank you.” He smiles, though it is marred with a weak expression. Maria smiles brightly in reply, but she stopped herself from becoming too overwhelming, toning it down.

“You’re welcome.” Her voice was low, delicate. She rose from her seat and began to collect the plates and utensils, promptly disappearing into the next room.

While Maria was gone, Alucard ran his fingers over the weathered book carefully. So carefully, as if it could disappear at any moment, or crumble under his touch. His inhuman touch. Alucard recoiled at the thought, returning his hand. He dwelled upon what little he could remember from his childhood. Certain smells that come and go and evoke a nostalgic memory but never quite in perfect clarity.

He sighed softly, feeling a twinge of loneliness.

“Alucard?” The hybrid heard Maria’s quiet footsteps approaching him from behind. He pushed out his seat and rose, turning around to face her. The blonde took a moment to try and read him.

“…I hope I didn’t upset you.” She says, sounding ever-genuine. The man shakes his head, flashing a small, half-hearted smile.

“It was good. Thank you, Maria.” He bowed and began to walk away. Maria stammered something before turning around.

“Adrian!” She calls, her voice sounding a bit more urgent than she had expected. It caused Alucard to freeze where he stood. Upon realizing how rigid he was, he exhaled, composing himself.

“Please do not call me that.” Alucard concludes, continuing his stride. Maria, humbled, bows her head as he departs.

—

A few hours had passed. Maria opted to break the silence between them by visiting Alucard in his bedroom. Standing in front of the too-tall and ornate door, Maria raised her hand to knock, but before she could, she heard a muffled “you may enter” from beyond the threshold. Ever-reminded that Alucard had inhuman abilities, Maria quietly let herself into the room, closing the door behind her (with a little effort, due to its’ massive structure).

The room was dark, unsurprisingly-–illuminated only by the moonlight beyond the absurdly tall window and a single candle. 

Alucard was seated on his bed, in the process of placing a book on his nightside desk. The blonde woman took a moment to allow her eyes to adjust to the light, but did not enter beyond the room’s then-closed entrance.

“About earlier, I wanted to apologize.” Maria began, bowing her head.

“That is not necessary.” Alucard replies suddenly. Surprised, Maria lifts her head, her eyes meeting his from across the room. “You did nothing wrong.” He clarifies, his tone plain. Relieved, Maria nods, shifting her weight a little and regaining her full height.

The two lingered there for a moment, but didn’t exchange any words, and both had a difficult time maintaining eye contact. Truthfully, Maria had a hard time adjusting to the darkness, and Alucard felt a bit awkward. The woman shifted again, as if she wanted to speak, but stopped herself. Alucard caught on.

“What is it?”

A moment of hesitation. “It’s not my place to ask, but were you the one who changed your name?”

He nods simply.

“I want to ask why.” Maria confesses. This earned a sigh from the half-breed, followed by another too-long silence.

After a few long moments, Alucard gestured with his hand for Maria to take a seat in the chair poised at his desk. She does, sitting neatly, and fixating on the other as he collects his thoughts.

“I changed my name following the death of my mother,” he explained, his calm voice betraying his furrowed brow.

“At that time, I felt far from my human half. I wanted a name I deemed suitable.”  
Maria didn’t look completely convinced. Noticing this, Alucard continued, though he didn’t want to justify his reasoning:

“My father’s ill intentions became clearer to me. I selected the name Alucard-–the reversed name of my father-–to represent my opposition to his ideals. It was my way of discarding my old self.” He lifted his head to meet Maria’s eyes, but her expression confused him. Realizing he spoke too much, he fell silent, watching Maria’s movements carefully.

It looked like she still wanted to ask something, but stopped herself. Alucard doesn’t react.

With a small breath, Maria spoke:  
“You have succeeded in destroying your father. You don’t need to discard who you are any more.” Her voice was gentle, but uneasy. Comforting Alucard was difficult. Could this even be considered comforting? Alucard, the hybrid who requires no softness, who is steeled against the world…

“Adrian is gone.” He replies simply. The blonde shook her head in protest. It couldn’t be that simple. 

“He doesn’t have to be any more.” Maria tries. Alucard does not budge.

“It is better this way.” He concludes, resolute.

“Is it really?” Maria almost spits out, her voice irritable. This confused Alucard. He blinked, and tried to get a word in, but Maria cut him off–-

“You’re continuing to hurt yourself. You cling to hurt because it is familiar! Things are different now, they’re-–” Maria silenced herself when she met his eyes. Alucard’s face was painted was an expression she wasn’t familiar with. He looked… Damaged. Hurt? How could that be? Did she go too far? Open a wound to bleed afresh?

Maria stammered a few inarticulates before rising to stand in a huff. She took a long moment of awkward hesitation before plotting her next move. All the while, Alucard sat silently, patiently-–rather, he seemed devoid. Hesitant, she stepped towards the seated husk and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Alucard was still as stone, processing what was happening. He did not move a muscle–-Maria could swear that it felt she was hugging something lifeless. Cold, and solid. No breath, no heartbeat… was he doing it deliberately?

“You don’t…” The woman tried, awkward. “…have to hurt yourself any more. You have done enough.” Maria’s voice trailed off–-it was gentle, and a little shaky from nervousness. She had never been this close to Alucard before. She was probably overstepping so many boundaries, but…

“…Adrian.” She tries again, her wrap about his shoulders tightening. Alucard’s body tensed at this, and he gasped a little - like his body was finally given life. Maria began to worry that perhaps she had gone too far, she hugged him without his consent, afterall. They had never… 

Realizing this, she began to slip away, when she suddenly felt Alucard’s cool hand place itself on her mid back, pressing into it gently. Maria let out a soft gasp, surprised; resuming her grip about him as her skin chilled under the frigid touch.

Alucard let out an exhale–-a small, weak sound that Maria was completely unfamiliar to. It seemed as though he continued to hold his breath, and in losing his composure, the air escaped.

“…again.” He mumbled into her collar. The sound made Maria’s heart race anxiously. She licked her dry lips and tried again:

“Adrian.” 

He flinched, pressing his fingers into her back. Another exhale and a sharp inhale from him.

“Adrian?” She tried to pull away again, but he didn’t let her. He shook his head slightly, tightening his hold. _Not now, not now…_

Maria, anxious, eased into the hug and lingered. Hesitant, she reached a hand up, laced her fingers through his too-long hair, supporting the back of his head. Her heart was beating madly–and she was sure he could hear it. She wondered if the sound of rushing blood made the situation worse.

The thought provoked another pang of anxiety, and caused her heart to race in a way she never knew. He wasn’t letting her go. Maria was afraid to move – afraid of what might happen if she stayed, afraid if she tried to break free… Perhaps she threw him over the edge? She shifted uncomfortably, but Alucard remained still and silent, breathing so quietly Maria was sure he was not breathing at all.

It’s alright. It’s going to be okay. It was Alucard, afterall. Yes, she comforted herself. He was different. He put so much effort into being different; in all of their time together, he never once tried to take from her. She repeated the thought in her mind, only snapping back to reality when she felt him grip the back of her shirt with his hand. A small gasp despite herself – she wasn’t sure what that meant. She was right, wasn’t she? He couldn’t hurt her. He wouldn’t.

As quickly as it came, he loosened the grip. Alucard’s body language seemed conflicted.

The two lingered, breathing quietly. Once Maria had calmed the beating of her heart, she tried again:

“Adrian.” She spoke his name like an oath–-a statement. It caused the man to flinch again. He exhaled slowly, as if trying to regain control of his then-held breath. As if it were a lifeline, as if he was trying to regain himself.

Nobody had called him that in so many years, afterall. He was known as Alucard, and all around him accepted that imposition without asking why.  
Maria was the first.

And Maria would be the last.

“…you may call me that.” He finally spoke, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Do you want me to?” Maria clarifies, stroking his hair with her thumb carefully. He exhaled and allowed himself to relax into her, just a little bit. Maria supported his weight easily. It was as if she was holding onto something fragile, damaged–-but not broken. Whole. Tangible.

There was another unbearably long silence.

“…yes.” He resigned, fingers pressing into her back firmly, pulling her closer to him.

Maria was surprised to say the least.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter in specific contains blood/blood drinking, gore, graphic depictions of violence which include muscle tearing, bone-breaking, flesh-ripping (and, by extension, implied arousal from violence), and vomit/bile.

“Very well,” she hummed with a happy sort of tone, covering up her surprise. She slowly parted from Alucard, paying extra mind to be careful. He let his arm fall carefully back to his side.

Maria took a step back to regard him, but he didn’t make eye contact. Cocking her head to the side, she leaned in again, boldly extending her hand out to him-–to cradle his face. She hesitated before making contact with his skin, her hand lingering. This did not earn any visible response from Alucard.

“Adrian, look at me.”

He didn’t.

“Please.” She must have struck a nerve – in this moment, Alucard seemed so fragile. Usually he wouldn’t be so affected by her prying; she wondered if there was more to it than she could see.

Slowly, the man looked up at her, weary. His features as of late had looked especially pale and sunken, his flesh emanating cool–-not heat. Maria was afraid to touch him when he looked at her–-and was even more afraid to find that he let her continue without objection.

She carefully cradled the side of his face, thumb rubbing delicately over his prominent cheekbone. Alucard’s skin was cool to the touch-–always cool-–it’s no wonder he always wears so many layers. Maria only just realized how cold he must be at every moment. Despite being half human, he seemed so far from the warmth she had come to understand from kinsmen. But it was wrong to think that, wasn’t it? Adrian would prefer to be appreciated for his human qualities, isn’t that right? He spoke praises of his human mother, the one who cared for others - and she has seen Alucard show care in his own ways - show remorse for humans, and show Maria kindness towards her arguably human frailty.

Maria tried to remind herself as she warmed his skin under her hand. Despite the cold, Alucard didn’t shake. Didn’t shudder. Didn’t show any signs of weakness or hindrance.

He seemed hollow. And it could be argued that Alucard was just that – an amalgamation of a mortal and vampire coil-–no warmth–-no life, but life eternal. Unrelenting. Undying…

…Cursed, as he often put it.

Alucard’s physicality changed when he noticed Maria plotting out too much in her head. Hesitant, he reached out a hand to her, but stopped himself, lowering it in resignation.

“Maria?” His voice barely made a sound.

Her imaginings had begun to work her up. It dawned upon her how isolated Alucard must have felt–-how he must still feel–-and she didn’t want to make it worse. She shouldn’t have pried as she did.

But she was grateful to know all the same. To see the same stoic Alucard show such complex emotions before her.

Tears stinging her eyes, she met his. His brow furrowed in confusion as he returned the stare.

“You’re not alone any more.” She repeated, resolute. “And you’re nothing like your father.” Her voice softened as she leaned in, cupping his cheek intently.

“I’m sure your mother would be very proud of you, Adrian.” Maria beamed a bright smile at him in an attempt to lift his spirits. It was returned by Alucard smiling weakly–-naturally, he had a hard time believing it.

His glance darted to the side, then back at Maria. Hesitantly, he wrapped both of his arms about her waist, and pulled her into a deep hug. The woman couldn’t help but gasp at how sudden-–albeit gentle–-this gesture was. Coming from Alucard, who never before shared in an affectionate moment such as this…

They both felt a little awkward, truthfully. Maria laughed a small, nervous laugh, hiding her flushed face away from him as she eased into his embrace.

“Thank you, Maria.” His voice was quiet, but genuine. Maria couldn’t help but feel joyful–she had helped him, somehow. Helped Alucard–-no, Adrian–-get in touch with his old self. Before the cruelness of the world tarnished him.

Her heart raced as the two lingered in eachother’s arms. Underneath her embrace, she felt Alucard tense. She waited a moment to feel if he would relax before pulling away.

“Are you alright?” She asked, transparently.

Alucard shuddered slightly before nodding with a small sound of affirmation.

“This is awkward, isn’t it?” Maria laughed nervously, beginning to pull herself away–-

“No, it’s…” The man tried, his expression conflicted. He sighed, loosening his grip on her.

“…when your heart races, I can hear your blood flowing. It’s…” He tried to find the right words. Maria’s own body became tense as she instinctively flinched away from him, realizing the gravity of what he meant. 

Bloodlust.

“Oh! I’m very sorry!” She feigned laughter, pulling away. Reluctantly, Alucard freed her from his grip, his eyes casting downward and away from her.

Leave it to the vampire to ruin a tender moment with urges he couldn’t conceal. He could, at least, control it.

…hopefully.

Given how he drains animals, he has always been too afraid to try with a human again, even when his father offered human sacrifices on numerous occasions in his youth. Young boys and girls. All brutally slain before him as a sacrifice. And Alucard would fight with all of his might for his morals to triumph. To be the opposite of his father. It was always very difficult, but he found his workarounds. Drinking the blood of animals, drinking his own blood (though it was usually only temporary fix–-he would vomit promptly afterwards), and indulging in ‘human food’. It all certainly helped, however…

Alucard fed on one human before. Lyudmil. That whole experience involving Magnus made his stomach churn. Despite helping Lyudmil find peace (albeit too many years too late), Alucard constantly battled with the grief of his own weakness ruining an otherwise pure being. Someone he cared so deeply for in older times - and someone who, like Maria, gave him so much without asking for anything in return. The thought of turning Lyudmil made Alucard overwhelmed with remorse. He was able to - at least - convince himself that if not for Magnus interfering, he would have had the strength to stop it. 

…right?

Despite his morals, when Alucard imagines draining someone of their warm blood–-remembering the taste, the consistency… their screams of anguish that caused him great, disgusting _pleasure_ in some primal part of him…

No, he was human - Maria said that to him. He couldn’t hurt others like that. Never again…

Women and men alike succumbing to him, to some sick release…

_No, that isn’t right…_

The thought of Maria’s blood–-

“–did you hear me?”

Alucard was entranced by the mental imagery. He snapped back to reality with the sound of Maria’s voice. He looked up at her, a little bit dazed, his mouth feeling so parched. He shook his head in a way that seemed automated, attempting to bring himself back to reality.

“…I’m sorry, what did you say?” His voice was a low mumble, unfocused.  
Her heart was still racing. Her next sentence was muffled and inarticulate to Alucard’s ears. He couldn’t understand a thing. All he could hear was the pounding of her heart hard. The flowing blood - and he could feel her temperature rising, even though she was a few paces away from him.

Why was her heart still racing like that? _What’s wrong, Maria?…_

'There is nothing to be afraid of. If you can stop it, I can stop. We can help eachother. There is no need to fear. We are in control.’ Alucard repeated this in his head.

_It’s cold._

'Please. I have to stop focusing on it. Think of something else. You have to, think of something else…’ He tried again to soothe his mind.

_Her screams, her body squirming beneath you and blood rushing forth from a gaping, horrible wound to her neck–-_

'I crave warmth.’

Alucard could feel saliva pooling in his mouth - could feel himself succumbing to an urge. All of the digusting thoughts… He could feel his muscles tensing under him - a primal urge to lunge forward and take.

_No, no…_

'Why is her heart racing? Why is she looking at me like that?’

_No… Don’t…_

“Stop!” Alucard exclaimed suddenly, violently combing trembling hands through his hair. “Maria, leave!”

Her heart was racing louder, the sound was deafening. He couldn’t at all hear what she was trying to say to him, just the sound of blood. Human blood. Untainted blood of this pure maiden who walked into his life, swore to be by his side, who embraced him and comforted him despite what he is. Who followed him and brought him back when he wanted so badly to achieve eternal rest. Delicious, sweet maiden… warm blood… human. So human, so fragile, so… easy to bend. So easy to break - destroy - _control_.

That’s all Alucard ever wanted.

Control.

’…a sacrifice? For me?’

_You’re not like your father_  
_you’re not like your father, Alucard…_  
_you’re not like your father–-_

“Adrian!” 

_…Adrian?_

Alucard then felt a weight atop of his body, pressing him into his bedding with a great force. Maria had sat upon him, pinning down his arms with a tremendous strength - for a human, that is. She struggled against him as he thrashed, as he was trying so desperately to push her away. It was pathetic. He didn’t want her to see him like this - but–-

“Please, get ahold of yourself! You don’t want this!” She yelled down at him, her grip tightening.

“Adrian!” She shouted, the strength in her arms giving way as his inhuman strength overpowered hers.

He couldn’t understand anything. It was all a meddle of inarticulates, he couldn’t… he just knew that this was wrong. Everything was so wrong. He could feel on Maria’s skin her fear. The cool sweat. 

He wanted it for himself.

He wanted to take from her more than anything else. He could feel saliva trickling down his chin as wild eyes tried so hard to focus on the woman above him - focus on anything to bring him back. Alucard could feel himself snarling, brandishing his pointed set of teeth - two canines, and two pointed fangs protruding from his lower set of teeth that were usually unseen - were they always there?

Maria gasped despite herself, utterly terrified of the face she was greeted with. It was so different from Alucard’s usual stoic demeanor - and so completely horrific.

Magnus wasn’t here - wasn’t controlling his hand - so why did he lack control? Why was he doing this? His grip tightened on Maria’s wrists, and she whimpered in reply, trying her utmost to stand her ground.

“If you need it so badly, I’ll give it to you! I’ll give you what you need, so please!…” Maria, with great force, pressed her right wrist against his mouth. What was she doing? What was she thinking? Alucard couldn’t process anything at all.

“I trust you! I trust you, Adrian!” She repeated, grinding her flesh against his set of teeth. Why was she doing this? Alucard knew he couldn’t hold back - not after feeling her trembling flesh against his lips. Not after feeling her pulse directly upon them. He groaned something primal, and with great velocity, crushed her forearm in his too-powerful hands and sunk his teeth into her flesh violently. His grip tightened with such force that Maria was sure her bones had broken. She wailed despite herself, trying desperately to break away through sobs of pain. It was no use, Alucard’s grip was relentless, and his thirst unquenchable. He moaned a guttural sound as he drank and tore and destroyed her wrist.

Given that this was his first feeding - his first real taste of human blood without Magnus’ influence - in over three hundred years, it was anything but neat. Saliva and blood made a horrible mess, bleeding down Alucard’s face (though he tried not to waste a single precious drop, ravenously). Teeth tearing into veins and tendons - bones breaking beneath the impact and grinding under his tightening grip.

God, it tasted so good. It felt so good - so warm and fulfilling at long, long last - Alucard felt whole. Maria sounded _so_ good - the hybrid adored the tortured sounds. They were stimulating in the best possible way. And the way she thrashed against him - threw blows to him - it didn’t matter. It was all part of the game.

He had his prey. At long last, Maria was his. And he could drink from her as much as he wanted. Wasn’t that what she said? As much as he needs?

_What about all of it? Every single drop?_

The vampire’s inhuman grip wrought Maria’s forearm, breaking the bones and twisting them. _Ah, that sound!…_ She was screaming and it sounded so good - so erotic to his ears. He moaned into the wound despite himself, his mind pleading silently for her to continue her cries of pain. Nails dug into her arm for more. _More_. It was so stimulating - the half-breed didn’t know what true pleasure meant before now. What true pleasure meant to a disgusting and vile vampire…

Alucard’s eyes were wild and bright yellow as they darted about before focusing on Maria’s face, ready to take in the masterpiece that was her pain.

But.

The world stopped.

She was sobbing - she was sobbing hysterically. Tears streamed down her face mixed with anger and hurt and sorrow beyond anything Alucard could process.  
It all came back to him. His grip loosened. He looked down at her trembling, mangled forearm before his eyes snapped back upward to look upon her face.

Yes.

He was a monster.

He proved it.

He hurt Maria.

He hurt his _precious_ , too-kind Maria…

Using all of the power he could muster, Alucard tore away from his sweet release and threw Maria against the far wall, retreating to the opposite corner of the room in a blur of red.

A broken mess, Maria slowly collected herself through whimpers and winces of pain, slumping against the far wall and sobbing without restraint. Meanwhile, Alucard cowered in the far corner, clutching his throat and breathing hard. He hurt Maria beyond repair–-she trusted him, and he!…

His consciousness slowly came back to him. His eyes darted about at particular spots on the floor while he tried to recall what had just transpired.

Alucard began to feel nauseous. He felt absolutely sick and mortified with his actions. He began to come to terms with the disgusting pleasure he derived from it all - the churning of blood and desire in his gut, paired with his erection that became all-too apparent. Absolutely disgusting. Horrific. He gasped shallow breaths - attempting to breathe through the tremors that rocked his body to its core.

He then felt increasingly dizzy, vision unfocused at the spot in the floor he was trying so hard to look at. He could hear Maria crying. God… Oh, _God_. Maria…

Unable to control himself, he proceeded to violently vomit on the floor below him. It was a waste, absolutely–for vampires. But Alucard–-Adrian, didn’t want this. Didn’t control it. Didn’t control himself and hurt the one person closest to him. It nauseated him enough to waste it all-–the first true taste of ecstasy was not worth the damage he had inflicted. His body knew this - his human heart knew this - and expelled it all. He doubled over, body heaving between retching and the echoed sounds of wet meeting the floor. Again. Another choke, a gag - a moment of silence amidst the room of sobs and hard breaths - followed promptly by more red-tinted vomit spilling from his mouth. He deserved it - he wheezed - his whole body clenching as he coughed and spit. It was his body’s way of punishing him and Alucard accepted it without protest.

“Adrian?!” Maria sobbed from the far side of the room. Oh God - why did she have to call him that? It wasn’t Adrian - Adrian couldn’t do this. He couldn’t reply, anyway - he heaved again, followed by splattering beneath him.

The room was quickly filled with the scent of blood and bile.

The half-breed panted after his body finally expelled the last of his stomach bile. His throat was raw, which caused him to continue to wheeze weakly. He was shaking violently with shuddered inhales, swallowing back what little fluid he had in his mouth. He fell to his knee, surprised at how weak he felt. It made sense - his body was finally, finally given what it needed to function after so many years of deprivation - and it was taken away immediately. He was almost tempted to lap at the mess of blood and vomit before him. How putrid.

But it was nothing - nothing compared to what Maria must have endured.  
Maria.

Oh, God. _Maria_.

“Maria!” Alucard yelled, recovering himself to standing before darting towards her with incredible speed, practically collapsing in front of her. At this point, she was curled into herself on the floor, clutching her wrist. He kneeled at her side, ready to try and help, but…

the blood was everywhere. Her arm was completely crushed.

_You did this.  
You’re a monster._

Swallowing hard, Alucard had to fight every one of his instincts in order to lay a hand on her. She flinched violently and screamed, clamoring away (to the best of her abilities).

“Don’t touch me!” She screamed, trying to get away from Alucard. He watched her try, completely broken, mentally and physically. She shook her head of blonde hair violently, crying out his name. His human name. 

Watching her like this, the hybrid couldn’t help but choke on a sob that he didn’t know was lodged in his throat. Maria’s face was warped in a scowl he had never seen from her - brows furrowed in anger and disgust and _hatred_ for him. Tears stained her face, her featured reddened as she hiccuped and cried - though she tried her utmost to regain her composure.

“It’s going to be alright, Maria.” He finally managed to sputter out, his voice raspy.

“It’s me. I will not hurt you.” He lowered his voice further, feigning calm to the best of his abilities - between shuddered breaths and brimming tears.

She shook her head, backing away still. “It hurts, Adrian… I thought I could handle it… I thought I could help you again…” She confessed between sobs and hiccups.

_God, no - don’t call me that. Don’t…_

“I can’t… I can’t do it… It hurts so badly, Adrian!” She sobbed, resigning to the pain and the sorrow, clutching onto her broken arm and curling into herself onto the floor.

After everything, _that’s_ what she was concerned about? Her threshold to help him? He didn’t deserve her kindness - God, he squandered her purity and her goodness and ruined their still-developing bond. There was no recovering from this, and he knew it–-he knew it with tears in his eyes as he bowed his head and accepted it. 

His cursed existence. The ever-present reminder that he would undoubtedly hurt those around him for the rest of his too-long life.

Alucard’s instincts told him to run away, but he couldn’t - not without doing _something_. With a shuddered breath, he called upon his vampiric powers.

“Maria, brace yourself.” His voice was low, and he grit his teeth, fully aware that the manner in which he could help would be painful in itself. This earned a look from Maria, who, with eyes full of fear, sought out his features, and wanted to protest any of his attempts.

She settled on his pained expression, becoming aware that he was crying. She gasped a soft sound, and wanted to say something, but instead clenched her jaw and nodded. Despite everything, she wanted to trust him. She wanted to believe that his features did not betray how he felt - he, too, was hurting. That he felt remorse for his actions.

His eyes met hers, and he gave a small nod, allowing himself to be vulnerable before her, tears running down his face. He extended a hand to her, slowly - and Maria, hesitant, placed her left hand in it. He gripped her hand firmly, and Maria continued to search over his features, returning the pressure equally.

What was he going to do?

“ _Dark Metamorphosis!_ ” He chanted before swiftly tearing at his free arm with his teeth, allowing the blood to flow freely from it. Using it in this manner will allow his blood to heal others, even if only to relieve some pain. Particles of green light flowed from where his blood was, and rushed towards Maria’s gaping wounds.

Maria quickly realized that even though he was healing her, it required that her muscles and bones relocate themselves. Painfully. She screamed out, clenching Alucard’s hand with a hard grip. He returned the pressure, bowing his head and repeating soft apologies as his magic went to work.

The woman’s mangled right arm twitched as bones and muscle tried to recover themselves in their rightful position, blood flicking about. It made grotesque noises that startled Maria, and she gripped hard onto Alucard’s hand as she writhed in pain on the floor.

“It hurts!” She screamed between sobs, thrashing about. Trying to move away from it while simultaneously clinging to Alucard like a lifeline.

“I know - I’m sorry, Maria.” He held onto her hand tighter, his voice broken and low.

“I’m so sorry.”

Within a few seconds, muscle began to mend over the re-positioned bone, and flesh hardly managed to fuse itself back together before the magic’s effects wore off. It was not a miracle fix, but it was a start. If nothing else, the bones were in the right position to heal.

Once it was all said and done, the room fell silent. Alucard was breathing softly, trying not to allow the scent of blood to overwhelm him. 

Maria was so much more important.

She breathed hard, her grip loosening on Alucard’s hand as she drifted off into sleep. He let her hand fall, and rose to standing, backing away from her to retreat to his window. 

Alucard gave Maria some space to regain her strength. He slumped against the windowed wall and waited for her to come to.

—

A few hours passed. Both Maria and Alucard fell in and out of sleep due to their exhaustion. 

The blonde woman came to with a groan, followed by a loud whimper. She glanced down at her arm to assess the damage. While it certainly did not look as bad as it did before, it was far from healed - bruising had formed under the skin and various parts were still exposed muscle. Carefully, she tried to twitch her fingers, but yelped as she found her arm was still very much broken.

Maria exhaled slowly, staggering to standing and rising to her full height. Alucard jolted awake, noticing her. Her gaze found him soon enough. He opened his mouth to speak but was silenced by the look of mistrust Maria shot him. He deserved it, he resigned, bowing his head and slumping against the wall again.

There was an uncomfortably long silence before either of them spoke.

“…you healed me. Thank you for that.” Her tone was acidic. Alucard merely nodded, acknowledging it.

Maria tried to raise her arm from her shoulder instead, but she winced, unable to - there was lasting damage up the arm as well, it seems. Alucard noticed this and inched himself forward.

“Please, let me…” He tried, his voice so vulnerable - as if pleading.

“No.” She replied too-suddenly. Alucard’s brow furrowed as he bowed his head lower. He knew what it meant. He was too-aware of the gravity of the situation. 

What it would mean for them.

“That won’t be necessary. Thank you.” 

Alucard damaged her irreparably. Emotionally, physically… She was blocking him out. It hurt. It was painful but the man knew he deserved it. He accepted it. This is what it would mean to be cursed. And he refused to allow himself to involve Maria any more.

He slowly rose to standing, struggling to do so with a soft grunt. All of his energy was drained - as if he was worse off than before the feeding. As if he was hollowed out in an entirely new way.

“…contact Richter.” He commanded solemnly, his voice raspy. Maria watched him as he clung weakly to the windowsill.

“Leave this place.”

Alucard opened the tall window, summoning his strength to turn into a bat before fluttering off and away.

Maria didn’t stop him. She promptly returned to her room, taking slow and careful steps. She had a hard time processing what was happening, but she decided to take him up on his advice. She would write a letter to Richter.

Well, she intended to, but her dominant arm was too damaged to even collect the necessary supplies to do so. Frustrated, she retreated to her bed, curling up into it - and paying careful attention to her still-healing arm as she buried herself into her bedding.

When Alucard returns, he will have to help her contact Richter if he wants her gone so badly, she resigns.

…but it would be for the best. Yes, Alucard has proven that he cannot control his urges. He is not safe to be around.

…but he _did_ regain control. He did. And he wasted all of that blood–-he didn’t come back for more or finish the job.

Maria buried her face into the bedding beneath her.

She was hoping he would come back.

But days would pass before he did.


	3. Chapter 3

Maria woke up, carefully easing herself out of bed. Alucard’s magic had lasting effects, she was surprised to find-–while her wound was still great, she was convinced her bones would mend in the right place. The flesh had almost finished healing, too - though she dared not twitch her muscles yet. She would begin her day changing bandages and sterilizing the wound as best as possible, making long work to support her forearm in a makeshift cast. It was incredibly tedious and time-consuming with her non-dominant hand.

Once that task was completed, she would wander their abandoned abode - not unlike Dracula’s castle, Maria would remark as she carried herself down too-long hallways. 

Like clockwork, Maria would visit Alucard’s room to see if he had returned. And every day, she would me bet with an empty room, marred with blood and bile and remnants of their broken relationship.

It hurt her to see - to come to terms with the fact that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t come back. It caused unease to well in her stomach. 

Resolute to focus on something else - something productive - Maria took it upon herself to try and clean the room with her non-dominant arm.

The blood and vomit had dried on the surface, but even still, regarding it caused a wave of unease to flow over Maria. She toiled and scrubbed at the spot, wondering to herself how painful it must have been for Alucard, too.

…she then remembered his tears.

It was the only time she had ever seen him cry.

She stilled her movements, and took a pause to turn her attention to the window Alucard fled from. It was a bright day outside. Light streamed into the room, normally concealed in darkness. Maria began to worry for Alucard’s safety. A few days had passed… and no sign of him.

Where could he have went? While he can wander during the day, Maria knows he’d prefer to stick to the shadows where possible. Maria briefly considered that perhaps he went to feed on others, because she played a part in awakening this part of him - this horrific part that laid dorment for so long.

_No… no, he wouldn’t want that._

With a shake of her head, and a small sound, she mentally resolved with herself that he wouldn’t do such a thing.

…but, still…

Feeling anxious, Maria was reminded that Alucard desperately wanted to sleep for eternity. To put an end to his cursed bloodline. She recalled the time that she ran after him - and it took so much convincing for him to even consider staying around, even for one more night. But, somehow, some way… she succeeded.

She succeeded, didn’t she? Maria couldn’t bear the thought of losing Alucard forever.

This sensation - this feeling of sadness and dread - was not something Maria could easily shake off. She felt tears warm her eyes as she stared out the window. Did he resign himself to nothingness? Was that really the last time that she’ll see him? The last memory he will have as he condemns himself to an eternity of darkness? 

She took a few deep breaths to calm herself before returning to her task of cleaning. She couldn’t spend too long dwelling on what ifs - all she could do was hope for his safe return.

After devoting an exceedingly long time to the task of cleaning Alucard’s room, Maria resigned into Alucard’s bed with a tired huff, always paying careful attention not to jostle her healing arm. She had cleaned the sheets the day prior, though it was difficult to get the blood stains out. She ran her fingers of her left hand over some darkened spots. Visions of that night surged through her mind - she couldn’t shake the horrific version of Alucard beneath her.

She curled up into his bedding, shutting her eyes tight. With a few silent wishes for his safety, Maria eventually dozed off.

—

She woke up in a panic as something clamored through the darkness, skimming past the window’s opened frame before careening into the room.

Alucard had returned through the window in his bat state. He flew against the far wall, making hard contact and tumbling downwards. He groaned as he reverted to his human form, breathing hard and shuddering all the while.

Maria sat up suddenly, but didn’t call out to him. She didn’t need to. He noticed her presence right away. 

In a blur of red, Alucard was suddenly pinning her down by the throat back down into his bed with a tremendous force. Maria gasped despite herself, struggling to breathe under the pressure. She tried to remain calm, staring with a hard expression at the face she was met with.

“I told you to leave!” He roared as he forced her deeper into the bed.  
Maria struggled underneath him, but said nothing. She merely watched him. His features were ferocious and feral. His hair was disheveled and curtaining on either side of Maria’s face, his long ashen locks stained with dirt and blood from nights prior.

It took Alucard a moment to realize what he was doing. He returned his hand, eyes searching all about while he breathed hard. He fled off of her in a panic, retreating to the far end of the room. Discarded, Maria coughed amidst her deep inhales of air, a hand instinctively caressing her neck.

The hybrid wanted to apologize. Wanted to take it all back. But he was just adding insult to injury. He darted for the window again, opting to jump out of it. With his body ready to leap, Maria called out to him, her voice desperate and raspy:

“Are you going to run again?!”

He froze. He didn’t turn to make eye contact. He couldn’t. He opened his mouth to speak, but struggled to find any sort of words of retaliation. He was running, wasn’t he? God. What else could he do?

“Take some responsibility!…” She barked, slinging her legs over the bed and practically storming up to him with a robust air about her. He remained still, though his mind told him to go. Just go, and run. All of his muscles remained rigid.

She wouldn’t leave, so he had to. That’s just how it has to be.

Maria took a good look at his face. He looked even worse than before - his features marred with dirt, scrapes, and blood. More jarring still was how sunken he looked - how his eyes were bloodshot, surrounded by darkened flesh. He was breathing haphazardly through cracked lips.

“…you haven’t been eating.” She stated plainly.

He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped himself, instead staring blankly at a spot on the floor as he lost his grounding, clinging to the window’s ledge for support as he breathed uneasily.

“…is it painful?” Maria tried, her commandeering tone softening.

Alucard nods once - a minute gesture - as he crumbles to the floor on his knees, heaving despite himself. He licked his lips - he was so parched. And Maria’s heart was racing again. Oh, God. _No_. Please, not again… He couldn’t even muster the strength to hoist himself up and out the window. Purging his body of blood all at once was incredibly detrimental, pair that with him starving himself for days made for a very frail shell of a person.

“Your heart…” His voice was raspy, pleading.

“Stop…” He grit his teeth, bowing his head and resting his forehead on the sill he clung to. 

“I can’t control some things either.” She mused in a tone that she tried to keep lighthearted, kneeling beside him on the floor. Her heart betrayed her tone–it was racing wildly. Alucard could be sent over the edge at any moment. It was apparent in his heaving.

He did everything he could not to focus on her rushing blood–-not to focus on the pleasure he had received by hurting her and draining her. His fantasies began to surface; his mind wandering to vivid images of her writhing beneath him, clinging to him - trembling and whimpering as he indulged in her blood. _God_ , it tasted so good… 

Alucard groaned with a shake of his head, trying to clear the image from his mind.

These feelings he harbored… They weren’t healthy. They weren’t normal. It wasn’t something that he should taint Maria with, when she’s so human - so pure and kind. Finite.

Maria placed her hand upon his cheek, which snapped Alucard out of his thoughts and successfully stilled his movements. He breathed hard and tried to swallow whatever moisture he had in his mouth, allowing himself to come back to reality. Back to the ever-present thudding of Maria's heart and her flowing blood…

“Look at me.” She pleaded, her voice soft. He leaned into the touch, trying to withhold his heaving. He reached up a trembling hand, gripping the one cradling his face firmly.

“If you can control it, you can have it. Any time. As often as you need.” 

Alarmed at the sudden proclamation, Alucard shook his head in protest, eyes closing. He couldn’t control it-–couldn’t promise that it would not be without hurt or wicked violence. What if it was worse next time? What if he didn’t stop at all?

“No…” He pleaded, tearing away from her touch and opting to attempt to rise to standing with great difficulty. Maria stilled him, urging him back to his knees. He complied weakly.

“I am giving you permission. But you must control yourself. For both of our sakes.” Her calm voice betrayed her erratic heartbeat. She was terrified. But something was telling her things would be different. Alucard was vulnerable and genuine. For once in all of the time that she has known him, he was allowing her to see this part of him - to get close enough to touch him and have him return the gesture.

She decided that she would be honest about her feelings, too. Carefully using her only functional hand, Maria tasked herself with easing her high-collared jacket off of one of her shoulders, revealing her neck and clavicle.

“Adrian.” She cooed, reaching out a hand to cradle his cheek again. Alucard’s eyes were already at her throat, his brow furrowed and features rigid in an attempt to process what was happening - trying so hard to listen to her words with clarity over the sound of her heart and rushing blood.

“Prove to me I can trust you.” She begged, rubbing her thumb over his cheekbone with great care. “I don’t want either of us to run.”

Wearily, Alucard met her eyes and searched in them for a moment. His glance trailed down to her neck again. Her heartbeat was deafening–-he could _see_ the blood moving under her skin. He could feel the warmth he craved emanating from her body. Warmth that she was inviting him to have.

_God_ , Alucard wanted - he was visibly salivating betwixt pants that he tried so hard to sedate. Maria swallowed hard. It was difficult to watch him like this.

His face conveyed an array of emotions. Lust, anger, and inexplicable sorrow.

“I trust you not to go too far.” She stated in an attempt to ground him - to remind him what was at stake.

It took every ounce of power to prevent himself from leaping at her and tearing out that beautiful thin neck.

Carefully - so carefully - Alucard leaned into her. Maria shivered uncontrollably and braced herself for the pain, whimpering despite herself even while he was still not close enough to lay his lips upon her. Amidst his head swimming and lack of focus, Alucard tried to keep himself grounded. He reached out a hand to grip her shoulder firmly - it was intended to be a comforting gesture, but it startled Maria into making another small sound, shutting her eyes tightly. She was trembling now, her breath shaking with each inhale. And it provoked something primal that made the hybrid excited.

Muscles sore from their constant state of contraction, Alucard began to tremble a little bit despite himself. He leaned in closer, trying so hard to simply lay his lips upon the side of Maria’s neck. _God_ \- he could feel the blood beckoning him, flowing just beneath the skin and warming his frigid and dry lips. Alucard carefully kissed her neck. He struggled to breathe-–he was holding his breath-–holding back. Doing everything in his power to take this process very slowly. He had to prove he was in control. He had to.

“T-That’s good…” Maria praised with an airy exhale, placing her left hand on his head, supporting him and keeping him close, despite every muscle in her body telling her to flee. Despite knowing full-well how painful this will be - but never quite preparing enough for it.

She was so, _so_ scared.

Conflicted in his own mess of thoughts and sensations, Alucard groaned and brandished his teeth with his jaw firmly closed - merely resting them upon Maria’s flesh. It was so hard. He could feel her _right there_ \- but he was determined.

All Alucard ever wanted was control, afterall.

“…s-slowly, control yourself…” She reminded him, her voice giving out as pre-emptive tears warmed her eyes. Maria’s fear was surmounting, and she wasn’t able to stop herself from crying, even before anything transpired. The soft sob she produced made Alucard feel even worse. It wasn’t like last time - he was focusing on her so intently, he could feel every shudder of breath go through her. He could hear every sound.

Even if it was hard, he had to. He had to focus his full attention on her to make sure he could keep her safe.

He tried to kiss her neck again amidst the panting and teeth-grinding - a trembling attempt at comfort. He was shaking. His whole body was. 

“Maria…” His voice was muffled and so unlike him. It was weak and pleading and laced with malice. “I can’t…”

“You have to.” She pleaded.

He was breathing hard through his nose, paying no mind to the groans that escaped his throat. He brandished his teeth, scraping his pointed canines against her flesh–-so slowly, so deliberately–to try and convey that he can control. He is in control. Yes. It was different now. It had to be.

Maria flinched at the sensation, bracing herself.

“It’s okay…” She cooed, trembling against him, trying so, so hard to sound strong.

“I trust you.”

Unable to hold back any more, Alucard latched his teeth into her neck - rough and firm. Maria cried out in pain despite herself–-instinctively trying to push him away from her by wedging her left arm between them and pushing as hard as she could. He didn’t budge. Not a muscle twitched in response as he fed and drank ravenously.

The pain was searing and paralyzing - it was far more disabling than when he fed on her wrist, as the pain radiated from the neck muscles all the way down the arms, the spine.

Feeling helpess, Maria cried, desperately clutching onto Alucard when she realized she couldn’t free herself from his grip. She grit her teeth and tried to bear it, but couldn’t stop herself from sobbing. The fear that had built up, paired with the pain, caused her to cry without restraint as she desperately clung to her predator. 

As if replying, the noises Alucard produced were almost like a sob of pain - of an apology - amidst the ravenous drinking, followed by unrestricted moans of pleasure. It tasted so good. It was everything he needed. And it was so Maria.

Maria.

_Maria_ …

He repeated her name in his mind to ground himself, breathing hard as he gulped down her blood, relishing the feeling in his throat - how warm and filling it was.

He has to control it. He has to. She is trembling against him - and he knows this, he is making sure to acknowledge this - and she is not holding back her noises of immeasurable pain.

Despite the severity and the shame, Alucard couldn’t conceal his twisted pleasure derived from a suffering victim. Eyes shutting tight, he wrapped his arms about her in an iron grip, crushing her close as he continued to drink. Maria yelped, returning the desperate gesture with her functional arm, feeling as though the air was being crushed out of her lungs.

He held her in his restrictive grip while he indulged himself. 

He wasn’t stopping.

Maria’s head lulled to one side as she sobbed, now struggling to breathe. The pain was subsiding, being replaced with a prickly sensation all over. She made silent prayers that perhaps it was finally ending. But she couldn’t process what was happening.

Oh, God. Why couldn’t she focus on anything? She was so tired - she began to feel weightless as she drifted in and out of consciousness. 

Something was horribly wrong. Oh, _God_. She was going to die, she resolved with herself. What other explanation was there? He wasn’t stopping - he couldn’t have stopped, but she couldn’t feel him there any more. It was so hard to breathe, so hard to --…

“…Adrian…” She pleaded desperately, her hushed voice peaking despite itself.

“Sto…”

Alucard’s eyes flashed open, and he detached himself from her with great force. He heaved, as if breathing for the first time, clasping a hand over his mouth as he collected his thoughts.

Too quickly, Maria’s weight gives way and she collapses, and by some impulse, Alucard caught her with his free arm, cradling her close as his whole body shuddered with breath.

He couldn’t speak. His head was swimming in ecstasy and carnage. It would take him awhile before he could process what was happening.

The frail human trembled in his hold, panting and fading in and out of consciousness. While he was able to control himself this time, he took a great amount of blood from her. He took entirely too much–-she felt cold against him. Cold against the being that was normally frigid himself.

He cradled her carefully. His instincts screamed at him to indulge - to finish the job, but…

His consciousness told him to protect. That he did the right thing to stop. That Maria needed him right now.

“Maria…” He tried, his voice failing him. He collected her with both arms as she fainted against him. 

Alucard held her close, resting her head against his chest for a moment. He breathed slowly, fighting his urges, before he was able to hoist the both of them up to standing, carefully cradling Maria in his arms and opting to rest her on his bed.

He placed her down with great delicacy, eyes scanning over her body intently. She was breathing. And her heart was beating - albeit faintly. Thank goodness…

This was part of the control he had to practice. It would be so easy to sink into her while she was unconscious. To take and finish it all. She couldn’t fight or scream or cry. It would be so easy.

But Alucard sat on the bed, aroused and ravenous, and merely watched her sleep.

—

Maria came to in a few hours. Dazed and not at all recovered, her eyes wandered as she was in the process of waking up from her rest. She stared up at the tall ceiling above her for a long moment. Her eyelids fluttered closed, and with a soft noise, she struggled to open them again. She felt a cool pressure at the side of her neck. It felt nice. Without moving her body, her eyes followed the pressure and met with Alucard who was tending her her wound. She started at him through lidded eyes.

“Adrian?…”

It hurt to speak. The entire right side of her body felt horribly bruised. She could only imagine how she looked. She tried to shift, shutting her eyes tightly with a whimper of pain. Damnit, it really hurt…

Using his right hand, Alucard placed gentle pressure on her shoulder, as if to wordlessly say ‘don’t try to move’. With his left hand, he was dabbing her wound with the cold cloth. Maria winced, taking another moment to struggle back into consciousness before she was able to meet his gaze.

He looked… So different. Healthier. Radiant, almost.

Maria smiled weakly at him.

“You… Look…” She laughed a little, voice raspy.

“You did it…” She celebrated, reaching her weak and trembling left hand towards him.

His eyes followed her hand. After a pause, Alucard raised his right hand from her shoulder and he took her hand into his own-–so carefully-–while the other dabbed lightly at the wound.

He took her hand and rest it upon her stomach before curling his fingers around it firmly. He didn’t say anything, merely focused on mending the wound he caused, his brow furrowed.

The damage wasn’t as horrific as the first time, but there was horrible hues of bruises forming about the muscular tendon he tore into. He was relieved to find he didn’t hit anything too vital, but worried that he may have caused permanent muscle damage. As strong as Maria had proven herself to be, she was human. Fragile. Finite.

He stilled his movements, taking a moment to scan the body beneath him. He fixated on her face–-weak, tired, but always trying to bear a smile. To remind him that he was not a grotesque monster.

Despite what transpired.

Despite the pain and thrashing and tears and sick pleasure…

They locked each other’s eyes in a gaze. Maria’s brows raised in confusion, but she couldn’t look away.

She opened her mouth to speak but was quickly silenced by a tender kiss on the lips from her caretaker.

The two froze, their hearts racing…

Maria moaned something soft into his lips-–a small, affirmative sound–-as she returned the kiss, interlacing their fingers together.

Alucard exhaled through his nose slowly, easing into the tender kiss for a fleeting moment.

He suddenly parted from her. What in the world was he thinking…

Briskly, Maria freed her hand from his to wrap it about his shoulders, urging him downwards for another kiss with a small wince of pain. He conceded, relishing in the moment with a soft, deep sound from his throat.

After many soft pecks, the two parted from eachother. Maria’s flushed face was hard to look at–-Alucard felt a bit embarrassed by his actions.

They didn’t exchange any words. The two of them knew. 

Just knew.


End file.
